On Saturday morning, before work, Frandz and I slipped over to Gainesvegas for a quick visit with M&M, visiting from IN. M&M are part of the family that I chose. Or at least the family that I am not blood kin to.
Since M&M live about a 10 hour drive away I don't get to see them near as often as I'd like/need to. Thus a two hour round trip drive to have breakfast is totally worth it. We do our best to keep up over the phone but there's nothing like a gut-busting squeeze to really get the love and the conversation flowing.
For me the holidays are always a time of reflection. This is a good way to avoid all the holiday stuff I am supposed to be doing. Like shopping and planning and crafting and baking etc. I can't right now, I'm too busy reflecting. But really, I think the colder darker months are ideal for introspection. If you're lucky enough to have a dear friend to share these observations with, like I am, you do when you get the chance.
So M and I sat there digging deep as quickly as we could while M2 and Frandz went to get an xmas tree for M's mom in The Colonel (you should have heard her squeal with delight when she saw the tree resting prone, still wrapped, in the yard). We wondered at how quickly 2010 has gone by, how it's already the holidays again so quickly. How our 30's have brought new perspective on time and life. We discussed where we were a year ago, emotionally, physically, with our relationships, our jobs. We saw how far we have come and glimpsed how far we have to go. If you had told me in early October of 2009 that by November 2010 I would be living in a doublewide in rural N GA with an amazing man other than my then husband, with a different job and a whole new life I would have told you that you should not have done so much acid in high school. Yet here I am.
Despite how many times something similar has happened (like try traveling back in time and telling college me that I would some day run a toy store in a museum, she would have laughed herself hoarse with disbelief) I always stand in awe when it happens again. My life continues to be an amazing journey, as new petals open to reveal new lives. All I ask is that the universe send me love and something less ordinary. Again and again it does, in ways I never would or could have imagined. Again and again I learn to surrender to all the twists and turns, and all the magic they hold. I know I never could have planned this life but I am so happy to live it.
My moments with M always seem fleeting, even when we have several days together. Our morning together was over faster than you can scarf a plate of IHOP hash browns and we were squeeeeeeeezing each other good bye (one more squeeze!) until xmas.
I meant to write a witty maybe even snarky Thanksgiving post. The holidays stir my anxiety like little else. But I really am so deeply and powerfully grateful everyday for all the people that love me, so much, all the time. I am so honored to have each of them in my life, to be able to love them back. I am so grateful to all the people who gave me heart felt thanks for working on Thanksgiving, which made working it an effortless gift to give. I am so grateful, despite the pain and confusion that came with it, that the universe sent me this wonderful, healing, nurturing, dream-fulfilling life I am living now.
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